It’s been pretty much a very difficult year.Could not believe it when I actually realized that it was November and that the year was almost at the end with Christmas looming. I have been through so many things this year. Biggest decision of all was to leave my job earlier in the year, needed to get away from all the constant drama,something I don’t want to get into. Let’s just say it wasn’t worth my sanity…
So the decision was made I decided to be a “stay at home dad” you know the profession frowned upon by the general public the man should be the king of his castle the breadwinner the provider. Well my family and I don’t live in the dark ages so I decided to take the up the mantle and be a “daddy day-care” for my 7 month old and 2 year old daughters.
The transition has not been easy not to mention the financial strain it has put on my wife, and then you still get a-holes family etc that look at you like you lost your job or don’t have a skill set.Things have been pretty hard especially in the beginning. Each day feels like I fight with the loss of identity and lack of accomplishment I once felt. I even find myself withdrawn from my wife and children, just going through the motions. The worst part is that I feel time is in such short supply.
It has taken time these last couple of months to get my head around my new role and as a stay at home dad, I can feel for pressure to be the best I can be, be the home-make and I can tell you it’s gotten so much better. The best part of all is that I can see my little girls grow see their development watch my baby learning to walk and talk watch my toddler develop a personally that stands back for nothing.
But lets be real there are things that creep up some days making me very depressed knowing: 1. Wow, I’m not the main breadwinner, and I grew up thinking I had to be… 2. I’m talking at the level of an infant all day, and it gets mind numbing 3. I’m stressed and my body/mind doesn’t operate on the foods I eat when stressed 4. I’m isolated 5. I’m a guy, and we don’t ask for directions, never mind therapy least of all look weak or come across as a failure.
I am a stay at home dad and proud,I really believe that men especially feel a need to work outside the home and “provide for the family” we have all grown up in a society where that is the norm and whether or not we believe this, it lies in our psyche.So here’s to what lies ahead for this stay at home dad and once all is quiet in our house and I get to go down on my knees…Thank God for my wife who has been able to bare it all.
No one has to tell you that when you become a dad, your life is forever changed. Nothing on earth can possibly prepare you for all the changes coming.
“Say goodbye to your social life!” or “Get plenty of sleep now, because soon you’ll be wishing you could.” Nah…it isn’t that bad. I am dying of anticipation awaiting the birth of my baby girl, and guess what it’s girl number three! How awesome is that? Never would I have ever imagined that I could be granted such a privilege such a gift such a blessing to be the father to three girls.
I love the differences between my two girls now and cannot wait to see how our new bundle of joy will fit into the equation when she arrives with her own persona to add to the current roster. “superhero roster” in our book!
I sometimes get so upset reading all these different articles or baby books etc that only concentrate on mommies don’t get me wrong respect is given to all the mommies out there! But as a dad especially a new dad you may constantly realize just how seemingly unqualified you are for the job of fatherhood; you may question your ability to raise a child, and your worthiness, every step of the way.
All us dad’s know we didn’t come programmed on this whole parenting thing, but we were programmed to wing it just like with mommies something happens within us too be it mother nature act of God but once you cradle that little bundle of joy in your arms all I can say is this…”you will Know”
When we fall in love, we’ve often only seen the best sides of each other. But life isn’t one dimensional, it’s a 3D living portrait. It only grows more interesting and beautiful the longer you look at it.
The purpose of life is to get better each day, overcome our challenges and weaknesses, and learn to love despite imperfections.
The movie classics of my childhood, all those hand drawn animations seem to becoming very scarce these days. Majority of new children centered feature films are CGI or either live-action. Don’t get me wrong I love all these new movies Big Hero Six , Maleficent…
Look at the Disney movies, Disney Pictures made its name on adapting folklore and fairytales into animated classics ever since 1937’s. But these days it seems Disney is just dipping into it’s fault of “classic” Disney animated features and simply re-imagining them as live-action movies. I know that what I am saying will be greeted with mixed reviews from fans and critics, but what it comes down to is that these modern day live-action classics will never have the nostalgic magic of the original “Disney Classics”
When I was growing up I always thought that my parents had it fairly easy.I believe and have been told by my parents that my siblings and I weren’t hard to handle and that we were an all round fun-loving bunch.
Today I sit and look at my life, the things I have good through, the good times the bad times…ups and downs! I have my daughter from a previous relationship with me, my wife has a son from a previous relationship, both our kids both aged seven, then we have our little girl age one. I love my family to the ends of the earth and beyond…
I love being a husband and love being a father even more…is that wrong? Don’t get me wrong I love my wife with all my being but there is this something else when it comes to our children, something beyond words beyond measure! For myself the responsibilities of being a husband and a parent can be overwhelming at times, there is no prescribed handbook that you receive the day you get married or have a child that puts everything out there prescribed to your exact circumstances and environment. Being a husband and a father are two of life’s most challenging, yet most fulfilling responsibilities. The roles are full-time, the learning is never ending, and the benefits are priceless!
There is nothing that can prepare you for when you approach these roles according to “myself”. My wife on the other hand,will take the time to research the do’s and don’ts and share these thoughts and feelings. Do I listen? Yes…No…Sometimes, guess I am not the prescribed type of person. The question that lingers in my mind today is “Do I do enough” what if I have the order wrong which comes first…my wife or my kids? I would give my life in the blink of an eye for any one of them. But am I man enough to cope with everything?
Recently our home was burglarized,the one thing that upset my wife more than anything else was the fact that her camera with all her family photos was taken and that I had not saved the pictures as she had requested…what was my reaction…thank goodness we weren’t home. I run and own a home security company and deal with type of thing on a daily basis but this instance was my own home…our home, our sanctuary our castle. That moment and these last couple of days have let me feeling so inadequate so drained as though I have failed my family.
I guess it’s adding to previous thoughts of am I doing enough am I working enough am I spending enough time with my wife and kids, am I present enough and involved in our day-to-day development. Am I perhaps too involved too much of a control freak too much of a “let me take care of that”, “I will sort it out” and then just doing things in a way I think it should be…
Can trying to do too much or attempting to be too much…be the wrong thing to do?
My 7 year old son recently asked me how to become a superhero and what “his” power could possibly be? For a second there I found myself completely dumbfounded…”what a question”! What do tell a seven year old, that won’t cause him doing something foolish like looking for a spider to bite him or try to microwave himself or worse…lol.
I could just see my wife’s face in-front of me.”what did you tell him”?
So I quotes uncle Ben saying “well with great powers come great responsibility” but in the back of my mind I wanted to add “great popularity and the ability to beat the $h!t out of your arch enemy”. But obviously I did what any Good Dad would do…I pulled the “geek psycology major”!
I asked him, if he knew who the best superheroes were… he immediately replied “THE FLASH” since the Flash is one of his all time favorites and I said “No” the best and greatest of all time are those with no super-powers whatsoever! For a second there he as all confused looking at me as though I just explained the theory of relativity to him. So being the Geek Dad I am I told him my two favorites come from Marvel and DC namely Ironman and Batman!
No superpowers!!! But what do they have? Incredible intellect , science and technology, physical prowess, martial arts skills (in Batman’s case), an indomitable will, and of course WEALTH!
So how does a seven year old obtain such great abilities…? By listening to Mommy and Daddy staying healthy, working hard at school, studying hard to become even smarter to get a good job,start your own business to make lots of money to buy and invent awesome gadgets to help in his fight against crime!
Wow…”thats Awesome,I can do that so when I’m big I will be like Batman or Ironman” that’s just the reply I wanted…Mission accomplished! “But Dadda if I get hit by lightning it will be so much easier, won’t it”!